I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
