I wish i was in the wii world.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Sorry my hands just texted you
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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