So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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