Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
