What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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