people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
A+ Viking dick
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
