Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
