I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Actions speak louder than pants.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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