i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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