ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize