Im at strip club and am horny
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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