I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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