The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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