Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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