4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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