In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
