cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize