I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
