That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
