Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
