So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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