everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
