just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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