yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
