In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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