im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
