I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
