the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
