it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
A+ Viking dick
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
