He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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