Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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