No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
