So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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