I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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