Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
