My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
operation harelip BJ is a go
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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