Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
