She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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