my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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