Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
