Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
