i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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