You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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