I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
