he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Even my vagina gasped.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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