Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
