You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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