he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
