I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
