so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
