Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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