On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
third nipple confirmed
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
