I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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