sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
