They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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