it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Shame - the story of my life.
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