He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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