when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
