i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
