Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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