That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
