It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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