So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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