Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize