I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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