I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
