Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
