But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
