i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
