break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
