You're so nebulous sometimes
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
