You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
that's an acceptable place to lick
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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