new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
they need to just BURY HIM!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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