I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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